Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Jordan Robinson's Recount Entry

Dear Diary,

It is the year 2001 and I am by the twin towers watching as people jump out if the building trying to get out of the way of the crash, the crash of the 9-11 plane, the plane that hit the Twin Towers.
Who would do such a thing? I walked past and then on the other side of the road I saw a t.v in a shop and a news reporter said that Osama Bin Laden and some of his minions did this whole thing. The reporter said that 9 suicide bombers were on 9-11 and they destroyed the twin towers. Poor people, and stupid Osama. There is about 100 fire fighters and 100 policemen.

And then I remembered, my mum and dad work in that building. I sprint to the building but I firefighter stops me and I start wandering where I can find a vent or a secret hatch into the building. I go around the side and I see about 5, 6 maybe 10 hobo's trying to light a fire. I asked them if there is another way into the building and they asked me if I have any change. So I looked around the other corner and there was a small window that was high up. So I got a nearby ladder and climbed up and smashed the window, it hurt though when I got cut by the glass. I climbed through and there was glass and smashed stuff everywhere, so I called out "mum!", "dad!". There was no response so I looked under stuff and over stuff and finally I found my parents, they quickly woke up and clearly they still were a little unconsious and when they were woken up I helped them down the ladder and we got home safe. That was my action packed day.

By Jordan

5 comments:

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  2. Great story Jordan! I'm impressed by how well you did in relation to the success criteria. The story was detailed in chronological order and I thought you used some excellent vocabulary. 'Minions' was my favourite! One element I think you could work on is your use of tense. I noticed that one of the criteria is that you use past tense, but in your story, the tense shifts round a bit. Really enjoyed the story though!

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  3. Thats awesome bud hehe good use on ur conectives and u made me feel like I was there.Lots of interesting imformation too,good work :) - Rachel and Maddie

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  4. hi jordan great story

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