Maddie's diary recount.
Dear Katie
It's 1945, that's all we've been told. We've won. The Japs have been forced out of the islands they had invaded although they've been left in a horrible state. Word came in that there have been more than 100 million people who fought in the war and and over 10 million people who died fighting. I can't wait to get out of this horrible place and take a hot bath. I'll be on my way home soon so get the christmas dinner ready but don't tell the kids I'm coming I want it to be a surprise.
love,
Paul
Well done Paul! I thought your writing was well focused on the topic and contained interesting facts. The writing was in chronological order as well. You could work on writing in the past tense, as your story was written in the present tense.
ReplyDeleteThis is a really good recount paul
ReplyDeleteyouv really put good punchation in this i think thats its a relly good story and im really glad that you put it on the blog
by skyla
it was foucesd on the sucsess criteiria
ReplyDeletegood job
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteGreat job Maddie, I mean Paul!
ReplyDeleteDanielle
Thats a really good one you did a good jod paul/maddie I think you got that from the band of brothers series it a good progamme
ReplyDeleteFrom Bailey
ReplyDeleteNice one P.A.U.L
ReplyDeleteIf i know you!!!!!?